Church Clothes

Do you "dress up" for church?  I mean, do you have "church clothes" or a special dress code to which you hold yourself for your church services?  Maybe, like me, you've even had somebody comment on your attire and subtly added guilt to your church attire.

One Sunday, I was feeling particularly casual and wore jeans, t-shirt and hiking shoes to church.  One of the elders of our church strolled by and, jokingly, said, "I wasn't aware that today was dress-down Sunday."  Of course he was joking, but we all know that there is truth in all jest.

Honestly, one thing I absolutely despise about going to church on Sunday mornings is "dressing up."  It is so uncomfortable.  True, there are some churches out there that are surprisingly casual, but even at those churches there will be people that "dress up" to go to church.

I used to be a staunch believer that one should wear nicer attire to church services.  For me, it was a sign of respect to God and to others.  For me, someone that didn't wear nicer clothes to church was lazy, disrespectful... a "slacker."  There was no reason to behave that way, in my thinking at that time.  I looked down on those that wore t-shirts and jeans. 

I wasn't always this way.  In my early church life, I attended a special kind of church comprised of bikers.  Yes, real, gritty, former-convicts, Harley-ridin', leather-wearin' bikers.  Never, did a church service at this church, look like a fashion parade.  All of the clothing was practical and fitting for one riding a motorcycle, not for looking good as the world deems it.

Somewhere along the way, I became rigid, white middle-class and very conservative (in a bad way).  I'm not sure exactly where it happened, but my values and beliefs fell in line with a very vocal minority in this country.  Honestly, looking back, I'm not very fond of that part of me.

Truly, there is no good reason to dress up for church.  It poses all kinds of problems.  In my former thinking, it was a sign of "respect" towards God and others.  Respect towards God?  God is not concerned with outward appearances, but with the condition of the heart.  Why would God care if I wore jeans and a t-shirt to church?  Or, how about shorts and a t-shirt? If truth were told, it was entirely for the purpose of "fitting in" that I wore nicer clothes to church.  I was trying to please men (read: all human beings, not just males) and not God.  If I'm wearing nice clothes to church, it is because I feel pressured to conform. It is because I am trying to please others and I am concerned about what others think of me.

For some people, the choice of clothes that they wear to church are a way of bragging about how good they look, or how much money they have.  For others, it is about doing the proper thing in terms of tradition and society.  All of it is contrary to Scripture.  There are words in Scripture about dressing modestly in the presence of others.  This didn't apply to just public appearance, but also to our "gatherings." Scripture's talk of modesty isn't just sexual, but related to monetary modesty.  In fact, James is pretty clear that the way we dress is bad for us and especially bad for outsiders when he says:

"Suppose a man comes into your meeting wearing a gold ring and fine clothes, and a poor man in shabby clothes also comes in. If you show special attention to the man wearing fine clothes and say, 'Here’s a good seat for you,' but say to the poor man, 'You stand there' or 'Sit on the floor by my feet,' have you not discriminated among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts? Listen, my dear brothers: Has not God chosen those who are poor in the eyes of the world to be rich in faith and to inherit the kingdom he promised those who love him? But you have insulted the poor." (James 2:2-6, NIV)

Truly, dressing up for church is a bad thing.  Why do we do it?  I'm sure there is all kinds of sociology and history involved in answering that question, but the short answer is that we are human and we are prone to this kind of behavior. 

I pray that I never judge a person by his or her clothing, but that I can connect with them at their heart.  I don't want to be the kind of person that looks down on somebody for how they've dressed.  Or worse, I don't want to look up to someone for the same reason.  Especially in our "assemblies," "gatherings," or "meetings."  This is a terrible imposition of human requirements.  God has no such requirements for His Kingdom, why should I? 

I also pray that I can come and go in God's places (which is all places and everywhere) wearing the clothing that is right for me and not based on what I think others will say about me.  I pray that I can dress comfortably enough to Worship God in everything I do and ignore the scoffers. 

I pray the same for you and yours.

Why Don't You Quote Scripture?

Imagine if you will, someone visiting my blog and disagreeing with some of the things I'm learning.  Theologically-speaking, I may sound a little wishy-washy to a lot of conservative die-hards.  They are able to quickly dismiss what I am saying because I "don't quote scripture" as they put it.  Some of you, now that I've pointed it out, might be asking the same question, "Yeah! Why don't you quote scripture?"

Well, the short answer is, "I quote scripture all the time.   I just don't reference scripture with chapter and verse at every turn."  But this answer isn't very satisfying for me. Nor, would I guess, is it satisfying for you, my dear readers.  So let's dig into the long answer to this question and realize that this question isn't very fair to ask of anyone.

Several years ago, I was in a Bible study with 15-ish other men.  I was caught-up at the time with a fierce battle for who-has-the-best-doctrine-award.  One of the men in the group reiterated a rule that he once held in some college group.  He said, "If you don't know the book, chapter and verse of what you are saying, you can't use it in a discussion."  "Of course," I thought at the time because it seemed a reasonable check against quoting scripture in an invalid way.

I'm learning differently lately and I've reached a point in which I wholeheartedly and adamantly disagree with that statement.  There are several problems with insisting that we reference chapter and verse for every bit of scripture.  The first is that chapter and verse are not inspired and are not really a part of scripture.  Chapters were first created in the 13th century and verses weren't complete in the New Testament until the 16th century. Prior to this time, there were no numbers utilized to segment the Bible except in the few cases of using the Hebrew alphabet as an acrostic.  The people involved in segmenting the Bible into chapter and verse never claimed that their work was inspired.  In fact, in some cases, they did a very poor job of locating and placing divisions.

Take a look at the end of Genesis, Chapter 1.  Beginning in verse 31 and reading to the end, you will see that there is a cohesive thought that continues through chapter 2, verse 1.  The first verse of chapter 2 completes the thought that began in 31.  For most English readers, this division in chapters makes it very difficult to read with continuity.  The same thing happens in Philippians chapters 3 and 4.  Take out those numbers and you will see a cohesive thought running right through to where chapter 4, verse 1 ends.

I think the modern age puts undue value on chapter and verse.

Secondly, we have examples from the Bible on how to "quote scripture."  Jesus frequently quoted scripture when He spoke.  For obvious reasons, He did not reference chapter and verse, but more importantly, it was a fluid part of His speech and thought process.  So much so, that sometimes it is difficult to see when He is quoting scripture.

For most modern academic types, scripture is the 'zinger' at the end of their thought that serves as proof that they are right.  When we look at how the Apostle Paul used scripture, it is almost as if the Scripture is an integral part of his thought process and he doesn't distinguish between his thoughts and Scripture.  Indeed, when I read verses like Acts 14:15, I see Paul letting Scripture be a natural part of his speech and thought.

We are encouraged to let the Word of God dwell in us and to meditate on Scripture.  We are not instructed to memorize scripture as an intellectual exercise, but to let it be an integral part of our spirit.  Chapter and verse make it intellectual and encourage us to use it as proofs for our thoughts.  Rarely, in this way, does it encourage us to allow Scripture to drip from our souls because it has soaked us through.

It is in this manner that I see the prophets and apostles of Scripture make use of other Scripture.  It is in a way that Scripture is at the heart of their thinking and feeling and not just tacked on for good measure.

For me, there may be times in which I will reference Scripture because I believe it will aid the reader in some way.  Other times, I will quote Scripture because it has become an integral part of my soul.  In those moments, I will not reference chapter and verse because I believe it detracts from the thoughts and feelings I am expressing.

For many, referencing chapter and verse is important for them to believe that I know what I'm talking about and helps them feel better about the truth.  For them, I cannot win.  In my experience, referencing chapter and verse is actually a turn-off for outsiders.  It's a demonstration that we know something they don't.  The postmodern culture that is growing in this world does not value the rigid, rational, academic approach to thinking and referencing Scripture seems to be a very sterile, modern approach to thinking.

For me, it disrupts the heart process (not "thought process") that I believe is key to this blog.  So, I will continue to quote Scripture in the same way I always do and occasionally, I may reference Scripture, if I believe that it is useful.

Tell me what you think.  Leave a comment, even if you disagree.  I'm open to discussion, so let's hear it.

5 Verbs: Adore

"Love" is one of those words in the English language that has a bizarrely broad definition. We appropriately say that we "love" our spouses and children. Some of us "love" our parents. My "love" for my wife and children are so great that I'm willing to die for them. But, I also "love" my dogs, not enough to die for them. And, I "love" pizza--especially Old Chicago pizza. (If you've never had and Old Chicago pizza, you don't know what "loving" pizza is like.) I've seen bumper stickers for people that "love" the Broncos, and Shelties, and renaissance festivals and even Obama. No matter how much you "love" our nation's President, I'm certain that it doesn't compare to your love for those closest to you.

As Christians, we are supposed to "love" God with everything we are. Is that like "loving" pizza? Or, is it like "loving" my family? We are supposed to "love" our neighbors; like I "love" dogs? Furthermore, we are supposed to "love" our enemies. Well, that's easy. I love my enemies about as much as I love Obama, but that's not saying much. I don't know Obama from anyone. If I were to love him, it would be an abstract, honorary kind of love or dedication to an idea. It doesn't compare to the love I have for my wife and children.

We have another word in English that we don't throw around as frivolously as "love." The verb is "adore." I "adore" my children. I "adore" my wife. But, I merely "love" my dogs. Do you see the difference? "Adore" holds a much higher significance than merely "love." This may not be the way it was meant to be, but that is the way it has ended up. I have yet to meet someone that says that they "adore" Obama (I'm sure there are people out there). Unfortunately, with "adore" comes "adorable" which is a word we use for cute and cuddly little things, but for some reason, in the verb form, we don't use "adore" in quite the same way.

So, how does God "love" us? God is "love." Is that "love" as in pizza? Is that "love" as in Broncos? How does God "love" us? God "adores" us. God "adores" us so much that He suffered as a human and died. The difficult part here, is that "adore" doesn't show up in the Bible much. It is in the NIV only once and doesn't appear in the ESV, NKJV or NASB. It does show up in the NLT twice (once for a statement of elaboration that is not in the original language) and the NET thrice. In all the English translations that "adore" is used to translate, it is for the word, אָהַב (’aheb) in Hebrew. However, that Hebrew word is translated as "love" hundreds of times. "Adore" is never translated from the Greek.

So, what about the Greek? Many of you probably know that there are several words in Greek that are translated as "love." The most common (in the Scriptures)is ἀγαπάω (agapao) which I think should be translated (at least more often) as "adore." We are called to "adore" our neighbors, our enemies and our God. I can φιλέω (phileo) my neighbors, but "adore?" (φιλέω (phileo) is the word Jesus used to describe the Pharisees that "love" to sit in the place of honor.) I can φιλέω (phileo) pizza (sorta). But, seriously, "adore" is one of those words I just can't see myself applying to a lot of circumstances. But, that's what God wants from us. He wants us to "adore" everyone. God wants us to do something that is impossible. This is why it is a miracle.

You see, when we recognize that it is impossible for us to obey the command to "adore" our enemies with a kind of adoration that is beyond our nature, we must come to a difficult conclusion: "I can't." When we look at the health of a relationship and community based on the thermometer that I discussed in mylast post, we can see that this kind of love is outside of our power. We must realize that God "adores" us. We are His sons and daughters and we are very important to Him. When we live long enough in His adoration for us, it begins to spill over into our relationships with others. It isn't a command that we can willfully obey. "I'm going to love that rotten, sonofa... even if it kills me." When you think of it, you can't command anyone to "love." If "loving" is done to obey a command, then it isn't really "love," is it? When we take it to the higher level of "adore," and try to "adore" someone because we are commanded to, then it looks nothing like adoration, or even "love."

This is The huge lesson I am learning. Most of the imperative statements of the Scriptures, especially the New Testament, are impossible to do with the right attitude. Unless you are living a life in which you know and feel and bask in the adoration of your Father in Heaven, these commands cannot be met or implemented. We need a miracle. We need God's love. We need God's adoring love. Then, and only then, can we even begin to obey His commands. Then we can have healthy relationships. Then we can have growing communities. Then we can be infectious in a way that brightens the world and actually makes it a better place.

Then, Christians will return to a place in which the world no longer hates and despises us, but yearns for the "adoring" love that they see.

I pray that I can live like I am adored by my Father and Savior. I pray that His adoration spills out of my life into my relationships. I pray that my adoration of others is infectious and desirable.

I pray the same for you, too.

Note to language enthusiasts: I know that my use of Hebrew and Greek is incorrect. I know that my use of tense, verbs and gender is off. Please allow me some latitude. I am attempting to make a point, in English for non-enthusiast speakers.

5 Verbs: Summary

Summary?! But, wait, we've only covered four verbs, not 5! Right. I want to summarize the four previous verbs before I get to the fifth verb. So far, we've explored the verbs, "reject," "tolerate," "accept," and "approve."  We could stack these one on top of the other with reject at the bottom.  It's like the "defcon" level or the "terror threat level" meters that we see in the news and in movies.  As we move up the stack, the healthiness improves.

This can be used as a thermometer to gauge the health of our relationships, communities and society.  Relationships that operate at the bottom of the stack aren't very healthy, obviously, and it can be made healthier by a single person moving up the meter to "tolerate."  A relationship or community with only one person at the tolerate level may not be a great place to be, but at least the civility will improve; even if only a little.

If the whole community is operating at "tolerate" and one person moves up to "accept," that community or relationship will improve a little.  The difficulty with moving a community or relationship up the stack is that it is far easier for people lower in the stack to "drag others down" than it is for people further up the stack "pull others up."  It's like a big swamp: those that are drowning are likely to pull the others down as they thrash about struggling in the state they're in.

All of this is in the realm of human possibility.  It is possible, although rare, to have a community of people that mostly operate at the "approve" level.  If they will operate at this level within themselves and with outsiders equally, it is a healthy community, indeed.  Unfortunately, a community like this is so attractive, that newcomers come in and don't understand the beauty.  The newcomers are likely to operate at a lower level and they will begin to infect the community and bring it down.  And yet, it is possible for a community of human beings to recover from these newcomers and continue to operate at the highest level of community health.  It takes strong, consistent and intentional people that cannot be swayed to keep a community at the top of this thermometer.

In my experience, any community operating at the top of this thermometer doesn't stay there long.  Even with people aware of the health of the community and an unconscious understanding of that which makes it healthy, it doesn't take long for them to be overwhelmed.  In a sense, the top of the thermometer is peace and if the whole world would get to the top of this scale, we'd have world peace.  What would it take for every human being on the planet to understand and behave at the top of this scale?  It would take a miracle.

I know that I have been the newcomer dragging a community down; many times.  I have also tried to be further up the stack, but I am so weak I can't stay there.  I don't have the strength to pull people up, I am more likely to be pulled down.  This is what so disappoints me about institutional Christian communities.  The institution tries to be the conscience of the community that reminds them to move up the scale, but that's not what people do.  Instead, it becomes a game of meeting the requirements of the institution in order to stay in the good graces of the communities, but secretly everyone devolves into the state of "tolerate" until someone finally falls into outright "rejection."  It is quite sad and sickening to see. 

When I am at the bottom, I am a terrible, wicked force working against the community.  When I am closer to the top, I am too weak to stay there long.  I have found that the only way to break free of this tension is to leave the community altogether.  At least I'm no longer bringing others down.  Lord, forgive me.

I know, it's depressing to think about the futility of human sociology like this.  Wouldn't it be great if everyone could operate at the "approve" level?  I mean, imagine a world where even half of the people operated that way.  But, the reality is that this meter only shows health; it's only a gauge.  There's no help for us in these four verbs.  That's where the fifth verb is the miracle.

5 Verbs: Approve

Unlike the other three verbs, the verb, "approve" is a little harder to grasp. Imagine, if you will, parents sitting down with their daughter and her boyfriend. The two of them inform her parents that they want to get married. Now, the boyfriend is a typical young man and is far from perfect. It would be understandable if the father strongly resisted the idea of his daughter marrying this young man. But for some reason, he says to his daughter, "I approve. I believe you've made a good choice." Turning to the young man, "I am happy to have you in the family. Everyone in the room knows this young man isn't perfect and has lots of maturing to do. So, this statement from the father is almost a surprise to everyone.

The father "approves" of his new son-in-law-to-be. This is beyond "accepting." He genuinely thinks well of this young man. Place yourself on the receiving end of this approval. If that imagery doesn't work for you, imagine that you and your biggest rival at work are contenders for the next big promotion.  When the boss selects you to have that position, your rival approaches the boss and says, "I think you've made a very wise choice.  I think [fill in your name] is the best choice for the job."  Then, approaching you, your rival says, "I'm very pleased that you were selected for this position."  You can tell by the sincerity in your rival's voice, and the look in your rival's eyes, that your rival truly means those words.  "Acceptance" would be for your rival to simply move on without harboring a grudge, but "approval" takes it a step further and says, "you are worthy."

This behavior is almost un-human.  We rarely see this kind of behavior in people and we generally are impressed when we see it.  In fact, this behavior is so difficult to "fake" that we are almost assured that it is authentic when we see it.  In many perspectives, this is how God views us.  We are worthy of His personal attention.  Even while we are sinners, we are worthy of His sacrifice and salvation.  He adopts us as sons and daughters and we are worthy of all of the inheritance that belongs to Christ.  Don't hear what I'm not saying.  We aren't worthy because we deserve what we get, but God treats us as if we are worthy regardless of our actions.  This is Grace (capital 'G' intended).  This is the love of our Father.

When we are living in our Father's love, we can begin to "approve" of others.  We can see them as beautiful eternal souls that are worthy of our Father's attention and affection.  Those that know the Christ are also co-heirs with us and we can approve of their participation in the Kingdom of God.

Look around at your communities, fellowships and workplaces.  Do you see people that genuinely approve of others?  Oh God, I pray that I can learn to have this attitude towards everyone.  Please teach me, and discipline me to be like your Son in this way.  I want to this kind of person to everyone around me.  I want you to use me to create communities and villages of people like this.

5 Verbs: Accept

In my last post, I spoke of the verb, "tolerate" and its condition in our social structures and relationships. That post followed a post on the verb, "reject." Now, I want to move on to the next verb, "accept." In my opinion, the "accept" verb is the very basics of Christian community. If we consider "reject" and "tolerate" as worldly, we can consider "accept" as godly in a small way.

Consider the following story.

A few years ago, I went to an investment conference. I wasn't sure of how to get to the hotel at which the conference was held, so I left early to give me plenty of time to find it. It turned out to be easy to find, and I arrived 25 minutes early. The organizers were kind enough to let me in early and I sat down near the isle around the middle of the room. The technicians were still setting things up and another early arrival came and sat across the isle from me.

I'm not usually one to hold conversations with strangers, but this man started a conversation with me. He started with asking me, "So, who are you?" I paused, wondering if he thought I was somehow involved with the conference organizers and he quickly added, "I don't mean what you do for a living, though why you do it might be interesting, but who are you when you get to be yourself."

I found this question intriguing because I had recently been mulling on the idea that: we are not what we do. His question seemed to be based on the same principle that we, as humans, are very complex and interesting and our professional vocations rarely demonstrate that.

I replied, "I'm something of a creative person and I enjoy inventing and creating things."

"Oh, that's really cool. Where do you get all of your creativity? What inspires you?"

"I think God gifted all of us with the ability to be creative, just like He's creative, and I enjoy that."

"God?" he queried. "An abstract God? Or a personal God?"

"God of the Bible." I replied, hoping that would answer his question.

"Are you a Christian?"

"Yeah. Christ is my Lord." I was beginning to feel good about this conversation, because it seemed "holy."

"Are you a 'born again' Christian?"

"That's one way of putting it."

"Are you a part of a particular denomination?" His questions started to worry me, like he had an axe to grind.

"No, not really, I'm more non-denominational."

"But you believe in the inerrancy of Scripture, and the Trinity and stuff, right?"

"Absolutely!" I agreed. He was no stranger to some Christian theology. I was wondering where this was going. "Are you a believer?" I asked in response.

"No, not particularly. I'd consider myself 'spiritual,' though." He responded, "Does that disappoint you?"

"No, not 'disappoint,' but I wish you had the blessing of His salvation." I was trying to find an opening to share the gospel, but I wasn't sure what to say.

"So now you want to save me, huh?" He grinned as he said this as if he knew exactly what was coming.

"Well, I can't save you, but God can. I just hope that you can respond to His gift." I was struggling. I really couldn't give this guy any information that he didn't already have. I felt obligated to try and evangelize this guy and 'win him over' to Christ. I had really messed up ideas about those sorts of things back then.

"Well, you can try to save me if you want," he said with a smile, "it doesn't bother me, and it won't make me like you less." I began to feel like I was getting evangelism tutoring from a non-believer. I was a little put-back by his statement when he said, "But, I'd rather talk about your creativity. What kinds of things do you do with your creativity? Do you paint? Do you draw?"

"I don't paint much, but I draw and write music and do graphic design and things like that."

"Ooh. Graphic Design? Do you work with Web sites much?"

Our conversation continued for 20 minutes or so as people shuffled in. He seemed genuine and winsome. He outmatched me, socially speaking. He never seemed disturbed by the fact that I'm a Christian and that he wasn't. It wasn't a point of contention and he never brought it up again.

The man in the above story that struck a conversation with our Christian narrator was genuinely practicing the "accept" verb. There was a potential point for conflict in the fact that he could have been bothered by someone else trying to "save him." But he didn't let it get in the way. He accepted the reality and accepted the other person as someone that was worth talking to. If we were to ask him, I'm sure he would admit that he didn't agree with Christianity and wasn't impressed by the salvation message. However, it wasn't cause for him to "tolerate" the other person. It was a "non issue" that he simply accepted and moved on.

It can be difficult to see the distinction between accepting and tolerating. One way to see it is that a person that "tolerates" another is insincere and inauthentic. There is no genuine desire to share company with the other person. With "accepting" another person, there is a sincere desire to spend time with another person, in spite of the contentious differences.

I must admit, I fail miserably, when it comes to accepting others. I find it very easy to argue and debate. I want to be right all the time and anyone that disagrees with me is an opportunity to prove that I'm right. This gives people ample ammunition to merely "tolerate" me or "accept" me. However, I do a poor job of "accepting" and moving on.

Another way to look at "accepting" is to have relationships with people and not feel the need to "fix them." There is no prerequisite to being in God's family other than to accept that you are in His family. I think of Jesus and Zacchaeus when I look for examples of "accepting." Although, I think Jesus did more than "accept" Zacchaeus. The basis of Jesus' attitude to Zacchaeus was acceptance.

I believe that God, through His Spirit, is teaching me about acceptance. All of the people that look different from me, that act different from me, and even the people that don't accept me, I am learning to accept them. I am at the beginning of this journey. What is God teaching you about the "accept" verb? Do you see acceptance in your communities, social circles, workplaces and relationships? In what ways can you yield to the Spirit to be more accepting. I warmly invite your comments.

5 Verbs: Tolerate

In my last post, I covered one of the 5 verbs, "reject." This week, I will dive into "tolerate." If you haven't, yet, I recommend reading, 5 Verbs: Reject before continuing.

Let's do another mental exercise. Imagine yourself at a meeting of some kind. Something like a business meeting or a church committee meeting. You sit down at a table and you try to participate in small talk with everyone else that is arriving early. Now imagine that one of them—someone that has a lot of influence in the group—says to you:

"You know, I only 'tolerate' you being here. I make pleasant talk with you and I'm nice to you because I'm obliged to. You really aren't important to me and I'm not really particularly fond of you. If it weren't for obligation, I wouldn't spend time with you."

At first, you'd be a little astonished, nobody is that honest. But, if you're like me, you'll immediately feel hurt, disappointed, betrayed and even angry. Shortly after that person honestly shares, a few others in the room agree, "Yeah, I pretty much tolerate you being here, too," and "if it weren't necessary, I wouldn't be around you."

Now, this scenario is pretty unrealistic. People aren't this honest. In fact, when somebody merely "tolerates" another, they are typically engaged in some kind of deception.

In social contexts, in my opinion, "tolerating" someone is far worse than rejecting them. When one "rejects" another, it is pretty overt. As I said last time, it frequently isn't as explicit as saying "I reject you," but the message is otherwise clear. But, with tolerating someone, one is "putting up with" a person or behavior that one would otherwise scorn. This is dishonest to say the least.

This behavior is everywhere, this is the "polite" status quo. This is how the typical social environment of the world works. You'll find it in schools, in workplaces and most definitely in churches.

Now, without debating the definition of the word, "tolerate" and how it is frequently used, politically speaking, I do need to be clear about what I mean here. "Tolerating" someone is the act of allowing a person's presence and feigning respect for that person. "Tolerating" is not honoring or including, but simply accepting an obligatory association.

I'm not particularly good at "tolerating" people. I tend to wear my emotions on my sleeve and make it obvious when I don't like people. This makes it hard for me to fit into a lot of social groups. The worst part, though, is that I try to tolerate people because somewhere deep-down I believe that this is the way to behave.

Luckily, the culture in general and specifically the "postmodern" mood that affects culture is causing people to 'see through' the "tolerating" behavior of others. The inauthentic "niceness" that pervades social structures is becoming more transparent. In fact, I can tell when someone merely "tolerates" me, and it's depressing. I say, "luckily," because I don't believe that this attitude or behavior is very nice; I don't think it is godly, or "Christian" or even very good manners. It is rejection covered in deception. I think simple rejection would be better; at least it is honest.

When I look at how Jesus treated people, I never see the "tolerate" verb. I sometimes see rejection, in the case of the Pharisees, but never "tolerate." Even in the Old Testament, God does not merely tolerate people, but He makes it clear that He loves people and is willing to accept a contrite heart; no "tolerating." He "endures" His wayward people, but He is forthright about His thoughts.

So, the question is, why do we do it? Why is it perceived as "polite" to behave this way. I know for me, it is a part of my "working theology" that needs to change. More than refraining from rejecting people, I need to not "tolerate" people. It's dishonest and hurtful and I fear that it alienates people that God loves.

Of course, I can't stop doing it, but I'm pretty sure that the Holy Spirit has brought this to mind so that when I see myself behaving this way, I will have an opportunity to yield to the Spirit and behave differently.

Finally, to anyone that has ever felt that I merely, "tolerate" them, I am truly sorry. It was uncalled for and I pray it never happens again. I hope that I can rest in my Father's love enough to neither reject nor tolerate you. My next post will be about how I should be treating you. I hope you will return and read that post.